Torment

From my teenage years, I always felt like I was different. It wasn't that I felt misunderstood, but that I could feel emotions on a much deeper level and build more profound connections with others. My friendships were never just about being there for someone and supporting them, but about being willing to do anything for them and putting my own life on hold to be a part of theirs. This never felt like a sacrifice to me, but rather a way of being true to myself while prioritising the people I cared about most.  

But as life went on, people began to drift away. What used to be everyday encounters became less and less frequent, until eventually, I was left with just a few encounters a year. And that's when it started to hurt. I was still emotionally invested in these people, but I no longer had them in my life in the same way. So I made the difficult decision to cut all ties, to move on and survive. It was a painful process, but in the end, it made things easier. 

Now, I live in a state of mind where my heart is constantly yearning for those moments, but my mind knows that it's better to let go. I struggle to find a balance between keeping those feelings real and burning all of my bridges. This constant and difficult torment of my soul is the price I pay to survive.

medium: acrylic
base: glass
application: palette knife | putty knife
dimensions: 55x45cm
year: 2023
location: Nuneaton

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